Fee Fie Foe Fum
by Verse
Summary: A few weeks before his death, Phineas encounters his son in Knockturn Alley.


A/N Written for the "Knockturn Alley" challenge over at the30minutefics livejournal group. For entertainment only, no profit being made.

The cane hurt his pride, it was true, but it also had its uses. Phineas swept the silver handle about the boy's ankle, and a moment later was staring down into a face rather much like his own. The face on the ground gaped and bore an expression that matched the surprised looking skull peering down from the shop window. "Well, get up," he snapped at his son. "If the wrong person catches us here your mother will transfigure us both into a matched team for her carriage."

With the cane in one hand and Theseus' arm in the other Phineas steered the boy away from the dark alley and toward the Leaky Cauldron. He loosed his grip before they went through the door, but his glare ensured that his captive wouldn't dare bolt. "Fire Whiskey," he said shortly to the man behind the counter.

"Something for the boy?"

"The same."

Phineas took the glasses and sat down at a table in the corner.

The boy looked at the drink in front of him. "You're trying to get me drunk so I'll say what I'm doing here." A suspicious frown crossed his face. "That or you slipped veritaserum into it."

Phineas rolled his eyes. "I am trying to treat you as an equal, which clearly shows that my wits are as addled as my bones."

Theseus took a cautious sip and sputtered. Phineas ignored the coughing and began, "So tell me what you were doing in Knockturn Alley."

He drew his head back in rebellion, but answered shortly, "Looking to buy mudblood bones."

Phineas kept his face schooled to passivity. "And just what were you planning to do with those?"

The words came out in a rush. "The physician says your body is attacking the magic in you--that's why your bones keep breaking. I thought bones without magic might help." He looked up hopefully at his father. "You could buy them, Borgin wouldn't sell them to me, but you could convince him."

Phineas frowned. "An established store is not going to sell to an under-aged---" he broke off his train of thought realizing he was arguing the wrong point. The boy would learn to subvert the system on his own. "I must commend your innovation, but some things are not acceptable, even in the pursuit of the advancement of knowledge. I have no wish to have a muggle for dinner whether he is seated across the table or boiled in the pudding."

"You eat beef," Theseus countered. "They're muggles, worthless things." He gave a casual wave of his hand, clearly copied from his older cousin. "Might as well put them to some use."

"Your aunt Clarissa is worthless and no one's ground her up for salt yet." Phineas took a sip of his own drink and kept his fingers wrapped around the glass in hopes that the warmth might dull the pain a bit.

"You're a wizard, you shouldn't have to die," the words came fiercely and with all the confidence of youth.

Phineas closed his eyes. He remembered that feeling, three years at Hogwarts and you thought you could do anything--that there was magic enough in the world, in yourself, to re-write all laws of time and nature to cast the world as you would wish it. His awakening had come when his spell to convince his Charms professor to end the lecture early had failed--his son's realization of the limits of power would be much harder.

When he looked across the table Theseus' head had dropped. "I'm going to get a lecture now, aren't I Sir?" The words sounded defeated, the worst part about his father's lectures was the fact that he always had to write an essay afterward to prove he had been listening.

"No, not a lecture, a conversation. I can't set your balance of right and wrong, but I can throw my opinions in as a counterweight to yours." Phineas wasn't ready to treat this child as a man yet, but he didn't have the years to wait.

Theseus nodded, then his expression grew hesitant. "You...you won't tell Mother where I was?"

"If I did, then I would have to explain how I caught you there wouldn't I?"


End file.
